The Half-Assed Wizard

A couple of jerks wake me at the crack of noon because my clepto uncle sent me a deck of ancient Tarot cards. Now a bunch of losers want to ruin my day to get them back. Magic was never my scene, but my dad's a powerful wizard, so I've got unrealized potential if I ever bother to apply myself. I'd rather power nap, but with wizards, gunslingers, and cannibalistic shark dudes coming at me, that's not gonna happen. I'm a half-assed wizard, but if I don't play my cards right, I'm gonna get my whole ass killed.