Destiny Can Bite Me

Vincent Lupo is immortal, sarcastic, and catastrophically bad at staying uninvolved. All he wants is wine, kebabs, and quiet nights in, but when he finds a severed head whispering prophecy in his fridge, destiny barges in. Soon he’s dodging death cults, rewritten legends, and an ex who wants to cast him as the lead in the apocalypse. With a reckless apprentice, a ghostly scholar, and a civil servant who fights like paperwork with teeth, Vincent must sabotage fate itself. Darkly funny and sharply satirical, this sardonic vampire fantasy proves legends rarely choose their heroes.